Melting down and being awkward are my hobbies!

Whether its a fear of never knowing when one is going to come along or the thought of a lack of self-control that acts as the main issue, living with autism can add the notion of having a ‘meltdown’ to a long list which looks at negativity.

Should this breakdown in coherent thought patterns be placed as a first example of sadness which can be linked with precise difficulties across the spectrum, predecessors could certainly include a lack of communication skills and with such a wide-ranging selection of problems, daily life can become tricky.

Manifesting itself through an interest in people-watching and poor eye contact on a personal level, this latter trait of living with such a disability has become annoyingly apparent over the last few months and should this not be enough to think about, thoughts of them leading to a complete collapse in regular behaviour have proved worrying.

A tornado gathering power = Opitomy of a meltdown

A tornado gathering power = the opitomy of a meltdown.

Now, such effects of being autistic – Asperger’s syndrome being the particular area of the wide spectrum that affects my life – are not often linked but on this occasion, thoughts seem to be bringing them together.

Having known very little about ‘meltdowns’, a term which deserves exclamation marks as it is a colloquial term rather than one used within the medical world, as a youngster that often kept the wide world away in search of seclusion and individual space, attacks of sudden emotion began to occur in everyday situations for little reason.

This form of showing a breakdown in coping may prove better than using violence or becoming argumentative but even still, embarrassment is an overriding feature in every melting down experience.

Such a reason as this brings the awkward edge of personality into play, something that can be described as a social communication problem but also perhaps a part of life which can manifest with age once again.

Similar to experiencing a meltdown, communicating has always been a problem from being shy and quiet as a child to stages as an adult where watching body language of others and attempting to gauge their thoughts has taken the place of attempting conversation with others where confidence is low.

Finally it feels like a connection is being made between crying and people watching, strange as it may come across.

Through searching on the internet for articles that link this state of voyeurism with Asperger’s Syndrome, such a link seems to be far less rarer than it has always seemed which acts as a finally-found idea of belonging despite its appearance to others.

People Watching – A habit of intrigue.

Describing how functioning as a child and adult may be difficult, IAN Community, a website ran by the Interactive Autism Network, states that: “In summary, those with ASDs (Autistic Spectrum Disorders) may seem aloof, or run right up to strangers and start conversations on obscure topics.

“They may be lost in their own thoughts, or trying unsuccessfully to connect. Either way, people all across the autism spectrum suffer from an inability to understand the complex dance that characterizes the social world.”

Apart from speaking to people on the streets about obscure topics, such a conclusion seems perfect as a final word on this topic while thinking about the future is a constant process.

Then again, smiling at somebody whilst looking at them would be nice if you smiled wouldn’t it?

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